Young People Have It So Easy These Days…


Young Love(lessness)

Filed under: Philosophy — davedoyle87 @ 17:04

When the chips are down and you feel that the ship of your professional and personal development is foundering on the rocks of unexpected circumstances, a loving relationship can be the life-saving raft which keeps you afloat. Conversely, should you be fortunate (or skilful?) enough to find yourself plying a relatively comfortable course through the strait connecting the rough Arctic seas of your adolescence and the Bermuda Triangle of your should-be-blossoming career, love (or rather, its sudden tumble overboard) can be one almighty iceberg in your path.

There are, I have to admit (read: ‘I would go mad if I couldn’t admit’) advantages to being single. “Course there are,” cries my id,  lairily, “you can ‘ave whoever you want, whenever you want. Get in!”. But of course it just isn’t that simple if you will not stoop to sexual assault. No: for those of us with even a modicum of respect for women, loneliness is pretty much inevitable in the short-term.

On the upside, though, you do rediscover music. You begin to register the subtle but carefully crafted interaction of the harmonies with the melody, as you did when you became aware of music at a young age. You actually listen to the lyrics; appreciate their pertinent, if often stinging, sentiment in a way that you couldn’t before you knew love. You realise that, while you spend half of your life in the familiar company of your MP3 player, you don’t actually hear most of what it has to say. And although it frequently laments love or the loss thereof, moves you often and scorns you occasionally, you appreciate that music—like your parents—is more worldly wise than you ever gave it credit for. And that comforts you a little.



  1. 4 months into the most serious relationship of my life, I can’t help but agree from the other side of the fence.

    I’ve spent most of my life single, most of my life *expecting* to be single till about 40, and yet, for some reason, someone wonderful has decided to put up with me. Before you start feeling ill, my point is: I’ve never felt so fragile in my life. I was always pretty independent and of the ‘pull yourself up by your bootstraps’ philosophy. If there’s no one to give you a hug and put you back together after a fall, you learn to put yourself back together.

    But now I’m used to someone else holding the fort for me, and I don’t know that I’d cope without my better half. Not, in any way, a comforting idea: I would be a mess without this person.

    Comment by Cel — 21/05/2010 @ 20:34 | Reply

  2. Thank you for your comment, Cel. I sincerely wish you and your partner all the best in your new relationship. I like to think that we all possess the capacity to be caring, passionate, interesting and attractive lovers, even if it is hidden for years under a shy, self-conscious shell. This was certainly true for me, having not had so much as a date until the age of 19. Sometimes, I believe, it just takes the right person to see our potential and awaken the lover in us.

    I would also suggest that you hold on to that nervousness—of your partner taking themselves out of your life—for the sake of your relationship. Unusual advice, perhaps, but when I consider that my seemingly idyllic relationship failed when we started taking one another for granted it makes perfect sense to me. Just don’t let that trepidation become a fear which controls you.

    Once again, my best wishes and thanks for reading.

    Comment by davedoyle87 — 21/05/2010 @ 20:53 | Reply

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